


Spirit of my Silence, I Can Hear You  (But I’m Afraid to be Near You)

by Simon_Northcote



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: ASL, Alternate Universe - Daemons, Amputation, Bisexual Clementine, Canon Child Soldier, Canon Child Torture, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Human Trafficking, Canon Sororicide, Daemonism, Daemons, Guilt, His Dark Materials AU, Multi, Mutilation, One-Shots Series, Same-Sex Daemons, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Loathing, Sign Language, Viclouis, and i just want it to be appreciated, because i worked really hard for this, but they're both dating clem, clem is a protective girlfriend, daemon AU, daemons are NOT demons, daemons are basically your subconcious, give it a chance please, i never thought i'd tag a twd fanfic with that one, louis and violet are FRIENDS, mute character, tbh nothing here will be worse than the actual game i hope the tags don't scare you, those are two completly different things, you can read even without knowing what a daemon is i try to explain it here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 06:30:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18565840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simon_Northcote/pseuds/Simon_Northcote
Summary: "A daemon is not an animal, of course; a daemon is a person. A real cat, face to face with a daemon in cat form, would not be puzzled for a moment. She would see a human being”A Daemon is the physical representation of a human’s soul in the form of a talking, sentient animal companion. Everyone has them, except for walkers, of course. That was the first indicator that some fundamental law of nature was being broken, all those years ago.A series of The Walking Dead (Game) One-Shots in a Daemon AU.





	Spirit of my Silence, I Can Hear You  (But I’m Afraid to be Near You)

_“In an instant your predator hands reached to the throat_  
_I knew you were waiting to die the whole time_  
_Your legs they swung for hours in semi-spires”_

_-“[Fangs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8ccyzsMkJI)” by Little Red Lung_

_Rosenthal had been an arctic fox the first time they settled._

_Clementine didn’t tell many people this, of course. Re-settlement was not a normal phenomenon. Settling at such a young age as nine years old was abnormal. And settling as different forms a total of three times in a span of eight years was definitely not normal. The ‘worth of psychiatric hospitalization for life’ kind of not normal._

_Having a genderless daemon was already strange enough. They didn’t need to call more attention to themselves._

_It happened with Lee’s death. His own daemon, a gentle grey wolf, was lying next to him, slowly dissolving into dust. She gave Rosenthal a tiny lick to their head, like a mother cat kissing her kittens. Lee asked her to shoot him. Clementine refused at first, hugging Rosenthal close to her chest in their rabbit form. But then the gun was in her hand and Bang._

_She didn’t realize Rosenthal had left their usual, comfortable rabbit form to take that of a fluffy white fox until later._

_The arctic fox must have been Clem’s favorite form Rosenthal had ever taken. After the initial shock of Lee’s death, once she stopped crying herself to sleep, she realized how beautiful Rosenthal was as a fox. She wondered why, before they settled, they had always picked the forms of rabbits, mice, small birds and butterflies instead of a magnificent fox._

_The arctic fox form was also the one Rosenthal had adopted for the longest time. A total of four years. No one had ever expected them to change again, despite Omid and Christa’s initial disbelief when Clementine had told them Rosenthal had really settled. Nine years was scarily young to settle. There were points, after Rosenthal had settled again a couple of times, in which she wondered if they had ever truly settled, but Clementine and Rosenthal always got to the conclusion together, after hours of discussion and debating, that yes, in effect, Rosenthal had settled three times._

…

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

“Get in the cell. Now!”

“Don’t fucking point that at him!”

“I will kill him, Violet. Don’t test me”

Rosenthal whimpered somewhere, another daemon’s strong jaws holding them down by the neck. The pain traveled through them to Clementine, clouding her sight.

“Cut the shit, Minnie! Let us go!”

“Now!”

It hurt. Everything was dark, and blurry, and the ground was cold and hard.

Louis. Where was Louis?

A door slammed shut, and for a moment the world went black.

When Clementine came back to earth a minute or two later, the first thing she saw was Rosenthal, waking up next to her. Dark red blood stained the fur of their neck.

“I’m sorry” The Ethiopian Wolf daemon whimpered, shakily standing up. “I should have stopped her. I should have known it was a trap”

Clementine followed sue, her hand instinctively going to Rosenthal’s neck, examining the wound. It wasn’t too bad, nothing that would suppose a real problem in the immediate future.

“I should have known too” She said. “Let’s leave this for later”

Rosenthal didn’t reply, just turned their head to look at Louis, in the corner of the cell, looking smaller than ever. His ring-tailed lemur daemon was tucked inside his coat, and he was holding her to his chest, like a terrified kid. Clementine’s heart broke at the sight of him so hurt, knowing she could have avoided it. If she had just paid enough attention to realize he was being taken, if she had been quick enough to see what was going on before he was already locked in the cage…

…

_The circumstances of their first re-settlement were… particular. Years later, when Clementine got her hands on the psychology books at Ericson School, she would read about how severe trauma could go as far as to alter one’s personality enough to make their already settled daemons change once again. Well, she had enough trauma for a lifetime, so it shouldn’t surprise her. But the series of traumatic events that ranged from Lee’s death to Rosenthal’s first re-settlement was not what made Rosenthal change again. Loosing Christa, watching Kenny and Jane die at each other’s hands or losing a finger were not enough to re-settle, it seemed._

_No, Rosenthal abandoned the arctic fox form when AJ got taken._

…

Louis raised his heavy head with difficulty to look at Clementine for the first time. He immediately threw himself into her arms.

She didn’t hesitate to pull him close, holding him tightly as he cried. He sobbed and whimpered against her shoulder, and shook like a dying leaf. Guilt struck Clementine like a freight train. She had let him be taken _right_ after what they told each other at the piano room and yet, the first thing he does upon seeing her was to hug her, to somewhat forgive her, kind of, for abandoning him. She _abandoned_ him. The one she was supposed to protect. She fucking hated herself for letting that happen, and the way Louis so desperately clung to her and sought her comfort only made it hurt worse.

His lemur daemon, Saphira, was eerily silent, still hiding inside his coat. Louis and Saphira were the dynamic duo, always cracking jokes and chatting like parrots, despite the occasional mean comments the daemon shot her human. Rosenthal carefully nosed the coat with their muzzle, trying to find Saphira without touching Louis.

Louis took a step back, painfully separating himself from Clementine, but Saphira remained hidden inside his coat. She stretched out a lemur hand to touch Rosenthal’s nose.

Louis’ lips were red with blood that seemed to be pouring out of inside his tightly closed mouth.

“What happened?” She asked. “W—What did they do to you?” She had a feeling of what it might have been, but it couldn’t be. He wasn’t talking. He wasn’t… Deep down, she didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to hear the answer.

He made a grunting sound, as if trying to say something.

“No! No. No. Don’t…” Aasim stuttered from the other cell. Clementine could hear his daemon hissing at him, shutting him up with a whisper.

Saphira whimpered. Rosenthal lay down on the floor to be at her level.

“What happened?” They asked.

Louis and his daemon exchanged a pained look. They were both shaking.

“They cut off his tongue” She whispered, so low it was almost inaudible.

No. No, it couldn’t be. Fuck no.

“What!?” Rosenthal got up to their four legs.

 “Oh my God, Louis…” Clementine said. She raised a hand to cup his cheek, but decided against it and let it fall to her side. “It can’t be. No. No, no way…”

Louis remained silent with his eyes glued to the ground. He looked so small and lost and broken…

“I’m sorry” Her voice cracked, her eyes filling with tears. She tried to find his eyes, but he couldn’t seem to be able to look at her. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry, Louis…”

“They’re going to pay for this” Rosenthal barked. “First, the bitch takes Carley, takes Mitch, and now…”

“Rose” Clementine looked at them in the eye, _‘Not again’_ she told them. She didn’t want Rosenthal getting vengeful.

Rosenthal growled and looked away.

_…_

_They did their best, the little fox. Fought David’s big Doberman daemon the best they could, but settled or not settled, Clementine was still a kid surrounded by adults who wanted to take the little boy away from her._

_And… AJ was everything to her. AJ and his little daemon. Kenny’s daemon, that old grey mare, had named her Rebecca, after AJ’s biological mother. ‘Becca’ for short._

_One day, Clementine was taking care of the sick baby. The next day, she and Rosenthal were hitting the road again, alone and scared and not knowing if they would ever see AJ again._

_She grew angry. She grew hateful._

_Next thing she knew, Rosenthal had changed again. This time, they had adopted the form of a short, brown animal, with sharp teeth and claws. A wolverine, she would later learn._

_Not only had their form changed, but also their behavior. While before, they would often advice Clementine to be kind, to be merciful and to go easy on people, that Rosenthal was long gone. Now they were all teeth and anger. They were quick to attack, ready to bite anyone’s hand off. They insisted that Clementine took what was meant to be hers, to hurt anyone who got in her way._

_They told her to shoot, so she shot._

_They told her to steal, so she stole._

_They told her to hurt, so she hurt._

_She wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t like Rosenthal controlled her. A daemon and a human’s special symbiosis consisted in a balance between the desired thing and the correct thing to do. The self control, the responsibility, the self-sacrifice. The daemon was the moral compass, the voice of reason that said ‘get your assignments done’ and ‘remember to call your parents’. It was the reminder to do the things we might not feel like doing, but they are necessary and important and need to get done anyways._

_But after AJ got taken, Rosenthal just… broke. They didn’t tell Clementine not to judge, not to let her anger get the best of her, not to hurt people if there was a way to avoid it. Not anymore._

_No. This time, Clementine got to do whatever she wanted to do. She got to hurt as many people as her anger wanted, and Rosenthal got off watching her do so. They even encouraged her to go harsher. The old taboo, the one that forbid a person to touch someone else’s daemon was soon left behind. Rosenthal had no qualms in biting and grabbing and killing people themself._

_They told her to hurt people, because Clementine deep down wanted to hurt people._

…

The lower halves of the doors were covered with thin metal and wooden planks. The bars were just separate enough to put your arm through them, but the planks made it impossible to reach the latch by the floor that kept them locked.

Clementine kneeled and tried to separate the planks from the door with her hands, but they were held by nails, and there wasn’t any hammer around to pull them out.

Maybe Rosenthal could break the wooden plank. She knew Saphira was small enough to pass through the bars and open the latch, but she didn’t want to force her and Louis into more danger and harm than she already had. AJ’s daemon, Becca, was the other option. Being unsettled, she could easily turn into a monkey and open the door, and that would be… honestly a good plan, if it weren’t for the Delta woman standing at the end of the hallway, with a gun in hand ready to shoot anything that moved, and knowing what the punishments could come to, she didn’t want to risk AJ getting hurt. Clementine had caught a glimpse of the woman through the corner of her eye from inside her cell, while she was looking for a way to force the door open. Even if she _did_ get to open the door, there wasn’t any reason why she wouldn’t be shot on the spot, or get her own tongue cut out.

“How’s Louis?” Violet’s voice from the cell in front of hers brought her out of her own mind.

Clementine took a glance at Louis. Rosenthal was sitting by his side, maybe in an attempt to provide comfort.

“Didn’t you hear?” She asked.

Violet shook her head. Her own daemon, a northern goshawk perched on her shoulder, was uneasy and visibly upset.

“They’ve both been very silent” she said with a frown. “Is he even awake? I heard him moving around”

Clementine couldn’t bring herself to say the words. She looked at the ground, her right hand instinctively going to her left elbow.

“They cut off his tongue” she mumbled.

Violet’s reaction was the expected one. Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she didn’t say anything. Her daemon went completely still.

Then she muttered:

“I can’t believe it”

Clementine pressed her lips into a thin line.

“Me neither”

“I was awful to him” Violet continued. “I always told him to shut up, that he was annoying, that he needed to talk less… fuck” She covered her eyes with a hand. “I can’t believe it” she repeated.

Clementine couldn’t help but feel bad for her. It was true. She was a bit mean to Louis, just like everyone else. Hell, his own daemon told him that sort of things. And even though Clementine herself never treated him like an annoyance, she had just assumed that was the normal for them, that if Louis didn’t show any bother with the comments, then it wasn’t a problem. In part, she wasn’t much better than the rest.

Now, they would never hear his voice again.

_‘Isn’t that what you all wanted? Huh?’_ A voice that sounded an awful lot like Rosenthal’s said in the back of her mind.

“It’s not your fault” Clementine tried to tell Violet.

“Like hell it’s not my fault” Violet hissed. That didn’t make a lot of sense, because there was no way she could have done anything to keep him from being taken, but guilt didn’t just disappear with four words of comfort. Clementine knew that very well.

“Can… Can you learn to talk with half a tongue?” Centauri, Violet’s daemon, dumbly asked.

“Of course you _can’t_ talk with half a tongue” Violet spat. “Guess Saphira will have to do the talking for him. Fucking great”

Clementine frowned. Violet had confessed to her, a few days prior, that although she cared dearly about Louis, she didn’t like Saphira herself a lot.

_“I don’t like the kind of things she says”_ she had told her. Clementine assumed she meant the same kind of things that tended to make Louis go silent and quiet for a moment, eerily staring at the piano keys but without touching them, and the next time he smiled, it would look forced and plastic. She had to admit, although Saphira was often funny and sweet, there were certain off-putting things she said to Louis that surprised her to no end.

“AJ?” Clementine asked, kind of trying to change the subject, but mostly wanting to check on her little brother. He was locked the same cell as Violet, and he looked mostly intact, but one could never be too sure “Are you hurt?”

AJ shook his head.

“No. I’m looking for a way out”

“Well, what do you have so far?”

AJ thought about it for a moment before replying.

“I was thinking… If Becca turns into a lemur, like Saphira, she can unlock the door from the outside”

“No way” Clementine stated. “I already thought about it, and no. That’s too dangerous”

AJ pouted. Becca, in form of a cat in his arms, growled angrily.

“But… I want to do something”

“You can do something by watching my back, alright?”

But saying it out loud sparked another idea in Clementine’s brain. She exchanged a look with Rosenthal.

“What do you think?” She asked them.

“It’s dangerous, sure” they said. “And you will never forgive yourself if you fail, and you know it”

“That’s a no, I assume”

“No, no, that’s not it” Rosenthal stood up and walked to her. “I can’t think of a better idea, honestly. Although if this is really our best idea…”

“Our only idea”

“A shitty idea, but yeah”

Rosenthal wasn’t the best advisor these days. They used to be more helpful, years before.

Violet, who had been looking at them, raised an eyebrow.

“So? What is it?”

…

_Those must have been the darkest year of Clementine’s life._

_Looking back, she was so, so glad it only lasted one year. She was so glad that Rosenthal re-settled one last time. And this time, for good. She was certain of it. It was a black hole she miraculously escaped. Thanks to AJ, of course. AJ was everything to her. It was scary what she could become without the little boy next to her. He was her lifeline, her only family._

_For the first time in years, she breathed in, breathed out, and looked back at the trail of death and destruction she and Rosenthal had left behind. Her heart broke, Rosenthal cried out.  It was like waking up from a nightmare with a new and adult sense of clarity, only to realize the nightmare was real, and it was all your fault._

_She promised, for AJ, that she would never let that happen again._

…

The bars of the cell doors were separate enough for most daemons to pass through. It was a bad strategy, in the case of people with daemons that could walk through them and unlatch the doors, like primate daemons. Although, considering what they’d done to Louis, they seemed to have that covered. Actually, Rosenthal would be the only daemon unable to just walk between them and get out. The only reason why they didn’t was because the separation between a human and a daemon was extremely painful and dangerous. Every once in a while you would hear about a daemon that didn’t get on the bus or the train at the same time as their human and they would be torn apart from each other.

Some separation was painful. A miles-long separation, for an extended period of time, could cause severe and irreparable mental damage.

But with years of practice and training, one could widen the range. Clementine had seen people, mostly from the military, be as much as a mile away from their daemon without any harm.

Violet had told her once she and Centauri had been practicing. For six years, almost. Centauri would open her wings and fly as far and she could, for as long as she could, and every time, it got easier and she could fly further and stay away for longer. That way, they could cover more ground while hunting or scavenging. Violet would go out with her bow and Centauri would fly away and come back with a rabbit or a duck.

She also knew that the daemon of the woman at the end of the hall was a weasel, small and smelly and a perfect prey for a hawk.

“Vi” Clementine whispered. “Do you think Centauri could—”

She gestured with her head to the right, as an explanation of what she meant.

Truth was, Rosenthal was right. She would never forgive herself if Violet got hurt. Hell, she would never forgive herself for letting them take Louis. And she was already feeling guilty as she watched Violet and Centauri weighting their options together. Centauri pressed her head to Violet’s, like a cat would do, and hesitantly jumped to stand on the horizontal bar of the door. She was visibly scared, and Clementine wished she could send Rosenthal instead.

Centauri flapped her wings glided along the hallway.

The next moments were full of tension. Clementine could see Violet tightly gripping the cell bars, observing her daemon with worried eyes as she flew through the air towards the woman at the end of the hallway.

_‘She would have done it anyways, right?’_ Clementine asked Rosenthal.

_‘Well, you were the one who suggested it’_ they replied.

She couldn’t see Centauri that well from the cell.

There was silence. Then, a shriek.

In the moment Centauri latched her claws into the woman’s weasel daemon, she was slapped down with cruelty, and a hand was angrily wrapped around her neck.

Violet gasped painfully. Clementine’s heart was beating violently inside her chest, her blood gone cold.

She couldn’t let Violet get hurt. No, no, no. She couldn’t let more people she loved get hurt because of her.

“What is this?” The woman asked harshly, one hand around Centauri’s neck and the other holding her wings closed. She walked up to Violet’s cell. “What were you trying to do?”

Violet seemed surprisingly unaffected by the fact that someone else was touching her daemon, but by the way Centauri squirmed and screeched in the woman’s grip, it was clear that they were both very perturbed and frightened by it. To touch someone else’s daemon was a taboo, an invasion to one’s soul and body and it could have been considered a crime in some cases. The sight of a grown ass adult woman holding a child’s daemon made Clementine nauseous.

“Let us go” Violet demanded, as she protectively put an arm in front of AJ.

“Whatever you’re trying, it ain’t worth it” the woman said. Now that she was so close, Clementine could see blood on her daemon’s fur. “You really thought you could kill me”

“Let us go” Violet repeated, angry and brave like she was. She wasn’t trying to get the woman to release the kids. At this point, she just wanted her daemon away from that woman’s gross grasp and back next to her.

Rosenthal whined.

“She’s going to kill her” they whimpered. “She’s going to kill her and it’s going to be our fault”

Clementine hushed them, in part because she didn’t want to give the woman more reasons to hurt them, and in part because, if Rosenthal kept talking, she would have a full blown panic attack.

“I told her to attack you” Clementine said to the woman, in an attempt to draw the attention away from Violet. “It was my idea. Let her go”

The woman turned around and raised an eyebrow to Clementine.

“Did I talk to you? No”

“What’s going on here?” a familiar voice asked. Clementine could physically feel the color leaving her face.

Louis whimpered and retreated further into the corner of the cell, shaking uncontrollably. He started sobbing again. Aasim and Omar backed away, too.

“Is she awake?” The new voice asked.

The woman holding Violet’s daemon nodded, straightening her back like a true soldier.

“Yes, ma’am”

“Good” Lilly said, as she stood tall in front of Clementine’s cell. “I’ll take it from here. And don’t let that go” She gestured to Violet’s daemon in the woman’s hands. Clementine realized with a shiver how easily it would be for the woman to simply snap Centauri’s neck, killing Violet instantly.

Louis sobbed and whimpered louder, his daemon giving a blood-curdling cry.

So, Lilly did it. She was the one to use the scissors. Louis hadn’t been that scared of the other woman, so it must have been Lilly. A horrifying image was taking shape in Clementine’s head: Lilly grabbing Louis’ tongue with one hand, cutting through it with rusty, dirty and unsharpened scissors with the other one. Or maybe it was her vulture daemon, that horrible, despicable creature, to tear it off with his beak.

Behind Lilly, stood Minerva, with her crossbow in hand, glaring at Clementine as if she had any right to believe herself better than her.

Rosenthal growled.

“Where’s Abel?” Lilly asked, bringing Clementine’s attention back to her.

“He’s dead” AJ suddenly said. “We killed him. He put a knife in his head”

To Clementine’s surprise, Lilly seemed almost hurt, her daemon let out a cry from his place on her shoulder.

“You little monster” She muttered.

“He wanted it!” AJ insisted. “He asked us to kill him!”

“AJ, stop talking” Clementine said, trying not to let her voice waver. She didn’t want Lilly giving them the attention. She didn’t want them to be at risk. “It was all me! AJ had nothing to do with it”

“Oh, sure he didn’t”

Lilly raised a gun and pointed it at Clementine.

“Back up” she said.

Clementine had no choice but to obey.

“Minerva” Lilly gestured to the cell with her head. “Open the door”

Minerva nodded.

“Yes, ma’am”

Since the beginning, Clementine hadn’t liked Minerva. She tried not to judge her based on something she had no control over—hell, her own daemon had no gender and had re-settled more times that are considered healthy—but whenever she saw Minerva’s wolverine daemon, she could feel her heart clench and crack as she was harshly pulled back to that year she spent looking for AJ. She remembered thinking Rosenthal would stay like that forever, and she had liked the idea. She wondered if Minerva felt the same. Sharing a daemon form must mean they had once been so similar, so utterly alike… And Clementine didn’t want to claim to know Minerva, but as Rosenthal had told her days before, maybe she did. Or maybe she understood a dark and dirty part of her that her past self shared once, a darkness they were both intimate with.

So when she opened the door, she wouldn’t say she was scared of _her_. Sure, she was aiming at her with a crossbow, and sure, Lilly was holding her at gun point, but there was a much less physical fear, some existential terror at being so close to someone like _her_. Like it would only require a small push to throw her off the edge and fall back to where she was before, _who_ she was before.

And _that_ did scare her.

Lilly talked. She said she was impressed. Clementine wasn’t paying much attention. She probably should, because she was being pointed at with a gun, but she couldn’t tear her eyes off Minerva’s daemon. She had never learned her name and at this point she didn’t even care about it.

“I bring a price like you back to the Delta, it might make this whole clusterfuck of a mission worth it” Lilly said.

_‘Fuck off’_ Rosenthal thought. Like Clementine, they were staring at Minerva’s daemon. She knew they were thinking the same as her, of course. Rosenthal despised who they had once been.

“If I’m the one you want” Clementine said. “Let the others go”

“This isn’t a negotiation” Lilly stated. “This is me telling you how things are going to be”

And then Lilly kept talking, this time about her father. Clementine didn’t remember that much about the group at the Motor Inn, but she remembered Larry, and she remembered his death, and how she had been so horrified back then. It was almost pathetic.

‘Teaching by example’ Lilly called it. She gestured at Louis when she said so, and it made Clementine’s blood boil. “To show actions have consequences”

“Oh, is this what this is?” Clementine asked, too angry to care about crossing lines. She took a step forward “A lesson?”

Suddenly Minerva took a step closer and raised the crossbow at her. Rosenthal and Minerva’s daemon were growling at each other, like feral animals.

Lilly raised a hand, as if to indicate her that it wasn’t necessary.

“I want to tell you a story” Lilly said. “Let’s call it… the parable of the twins” Without waiting for Clementine’s response, she started: “Two girls were taken from their home, and brought to a new place to live. They had to leave their friends and family behind, and that was hard at first. They shed a lot of tears”

Clementine couldn’t help but glance at Minerva. Her daemon had stopped growling, and was now quietly staring at Rosenthal.

“But the new place was a good place” Lilly continued. “The people there grew corn and raised pigs, and the twins ate well for the first time in years. They had hot showers, clean clothes, beds… They were given guns and train to use them” She gestured to her gun. “The people there were kind to these girls. All that was asked in return was that they helped defend the group. You see, this group had a lot of enemies. Killers and thieves who wanted what they had”

“Such as yourself?” Rosenthal suddenly asked.

Quick as a lightning, Minerva’s daemon pounced on Rosenthal, digging her fangs on their neck like she’d done before. Rosenthal cried out and tried to fight back, but Lilly raised her gun and aimed it at Clementine’s head.

There was silence for a moment, with the wolverine daemon holding Rosenthal down and Clementine trying not to let her pain show.

“One of the girls saw this was a place worth fighting for, and her tears dried” Lilly resumed, as if nothing had happened. “But the other twin, she could never forget her old home. She rejected every gift, every opportunity. Starred up trouble every chance she got”

Clementine knew where this was going to. She looked at Minerva, knowing already what had happened. ‘Teaching by example’, sure, and what a best example than punishing your disobedient loved ones?

 “She convinced her sister to help her steal a raft and leave by the river”

Clementine wondered if she would become like Minerva if they took AJ away from there.

_‘Don’t be stupid’_ Rosenthal said, despite being held down by the silent daemon. _‘We both know they answer”_

“Of course, they didn’t get far” Lilly’s smile was borderline psychotic. She looked a lot like her daemon “What happened then, Minerva?”

A silence cold and thick filled the air. Then, Minerva said:

“I killed her”

Clementine’s jaw dropped. No way. No fucking way. Somewhere in the other cells, she could hear the other kids in their shock and horror. They didn’t believe it. Or worse: they did.

“Minnie… Tell me it’s not true…” Violet begged.

“Your own sister?” Lilly asked in a sadistically playful tone. “Why would you do that?”

“She was twisting my head with her lies” Minerva replied in a weak and wet voice without hesitation, as if she were repeating a script she was forced to memorize. “I made a mistake, and I needed to show my loyalty to my… my new family”

If Clementine had ever thought she understood this girl, she quickly abandoned the naïve assumption. There was something so undeniable _wrong_ and _utterly fucked up_ with her, with her head, to kill her own family…

“Like it or not, Clementine, you’re one of my people now” Lilly said. “The question is, which twin are you going to be? The loyal one?” She gestured to Minerva. “Or the dead one?”

“What have you done to her head, you fucking psychotic bitch!” Violet yelled from her cell. “You’re evil! You’re fucking evil!”

“Violet, calm down!” Clementine begged her. The woman still had her daemon on her hands and had a gun ready to shoot. She had already let Louis be maimed for life. She couldn’t let her other partner get hurt. “Please! You saw—”

“What!? What they did to Louis? So those are my options now? To get my fucking tongue cut out or kill the people I love!? Fuck that!”

 Lilly shook her head, almost exasperated, but Clementine didn’t miss the cruel smile on her face.

“Pull the mouthy one out of the cell” She commanded. Clementine’s stomach dropped. “Looks like she didn’t get the moral of the story”

“Please don’t hurt her” Clementine found herself begging. “I’ll go with you. Just don’t hurt her”

Lilly smiled.

“Your people are going to follow the rules?”

Clementine opened her mouth to reply, but found herself unable to utter a word. She couldn’t let Violet get hurt, and she couldn’t sell them out like Marlon had done.

“You can take me” She said. “Just let everyone go and I’ll do whatever you want”

Lilly’s smile grew wider. She made a gesture with her hand to the other woman, and for a moment, Clementine dared to think she might have somehow convinced her, maybe Lilly would accept her offer and Violet and Louis and AJ could all go back home.

Then Violet was thrown to the ground and a butcher’s knife descended on her hand.

Her scream was like nothing Clementine had ever heard. It made her want to curl into a ball and cover her ears like a little girl. Violet cried and shrieked and Rosenthal struggled to break free from the wolverine daemon’s grip.

Violet was then dragged back inside her cell, in an almost business-like manner.

“The rules are simple, Clementine” Lilly stated, raising her gun once again. “If they’re broken, someone gets punished. It’s your choice”

“We’ll kill you!” AJ’s angry, tiny yelled. “I’ll put a bullet in your head!”

Lilly turned around, unamused. Her daemon still keeping his evil eyes on Clementine.

“Big talk for a little guy” She commented.

AJ groaned angrily.

“I know I can do it! I killed Marlon and I’ll kill you!”

“Lilly!” Clementine called. She tried to move towards her, to draw her attention away from AJ, but Minerva blocked her way. Louis, Violet… Hurting AJ would be too much. “Leave him alone! This is between you and me!”

“So… you killed Marlon” Lilly kneeled to be at AJ’s level, completely ignoring Clementine. “I can tell you’d make a great soldier”

“I will never fight for you”

Clementine could practically see the vulture daemon smile.

“We’ll see”

Then, in a swift motion, the vulture flapped his wings as Lilly dragged AJ out of the cell by an arm.

“No! Don’t fucking touch him!” She raced to the door before it was slammed shut on her face.

“Clem!” AJ cried as Lilly dragged him down the hall.

“Lilly, let him go! Please!”

“Keep an eye on her, Minerva” were the last words Lilly said before disappearing from sight.

“Yes, ma’am” Minerva said to the silence.

Then nothing, for a moment.

“Vi?” Clementine called, fearing for her girlfriend’s wellbeing.

“I’m okay, I’m okay, just—fuck!”

She had retreated to a corner of the cell. She still had both hands, which was good, but the left one was covered in bright red blood. They had thrown Centauri back inside the cell with her.

“Did they…?”

“Shut the fuck up” Minerva interrupted her, standing in front of her and blocking Violet from view. “You’ve seen what happens to the ones who can’t keep their mouths shut”

Louis let out a little sob. If Lilly was so eager to torture her partners, Clementine didn’t want to imagine what she might be doing to AJ.

Fuck, she needed to get to him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Violet yelled. “What the fuck are you doing?! You killed Sophie!”

“I know, I know!” Minerva turned around. “She was putting us all in danger! You have to understand!”

Clementine felt a hand on her shoulder and flinched, ready to attack when she turned to see Louis, weakly standing with Saphira in his arms.

“Louis…” She whispered. She put a hand on his shoulder, and he smiled sadly at her. He walked up to the door.

“I’m going through and unlatch this door” Saphira said, so quickly Clementine almost missed it.

“No way” She shook her head and stood in front of Louis. “I’m not putting you in more danger”

Because Minerva was looking at Violet, but she was still close, and both Louis and his daemon were still weak, and one wrong step and Minerva could kill him in a millisecond and…

But Louis just smiled again. He leaned in and pressed a bloody kiss to Clementine’s hair.

Saphira jumped and silently squeezed herself through the bars. Violet saw them, of course, and she made sure to keep Minerva distracted.

“I’m sorry we never looked for you” She said. “I’m sorry that we listened to that fucker, Marlon…”

“I know! I’m not angry” Minerva replied. “I… I have a new family now. You have to listen to me. The Delta can keep you safe! No one else has to get hurt!”

Clementine couldn’t see the lemur daemon very well. She could barely hear the drag of the rusted metal as she unlocked the door. Minerva’s wolverine daemon was focused on Violet, too.

“You can come with us!” Violet continued. “Minnie, I promise, we can still do things right. You can come see Tenn…”

The wolverine daemon suddenly turned around, so quickly Clementine wondered how she hadn’t snapped her own neck. Louis froze in terror. The wolverine immediately rushed to seize Saphira, but the lemur gave an rigid jump and hid behind the safety of Louis’ arms once again.

“What are you doing!?” Minerva yelled, startling Louis. He backed away from the door with big eyes full of terror. “Do you want more people to get hurt!?”

Clementine didn’t bother to wait. She rammed against the door, hitting Minerva dead on and throwing her to the ground.

She rushed to unlatch the other cell as Rosenthal sank their fangs on the wolverine daemon, finally getting their revenge. Minerva cried out.

“Watch out!” Violet cried. Clementine turned her head just in time to see Minerva racing to her with a knife in hand.

“You’re going to get us all killed!” She aimed for the chest, but Clementine blocked her strike holding her wrist away with a hand. Minerva kicked her leg and forced her to the ground. She held the knife with both hands now, mere inches away from Clementine’s chest.

“Minerva!” Violet cried out.

“I won’t let you get them killed!” She repeated.

Then a scream and a splash of blood, falling all over Clementine’s face. She pushed Minerva’s body off herself and wiped the blood from her eyes.

Violet dropped the crossbow she had picked up and raced in their direction. She held Minerva’s unconscious body on her arms and looked at Clementine.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“I’m fine” She glanced at Rosenthal. Their mouth was bloody and dirty. The wolverine daemon laid unconscious a few feet away, proof that Minerva was still alive. “Come on, let me see your hand”

She shakily grabbed Violet’s left hand. Her entire pinky finger was gone, and the blood flowed down her hand, staining her sleeves and part of her vest.

“I’m fine” She said through gritted teeth “Go find AJ”

In that moment, Clementine just wanted to hug her and thank whatever non-existent God that she was alive, but she had no time to lose. She rose to her feet and with her daemon by her side, she rushed to the end of the hall, hoping to find her little brother.

…

_It happened right after raiding the McCarrol Ranch._

_Clementine was fourteen by then. She had killed many people that day._

_Rosenthal’s manic and frenzied laughter echoed inside the burning building. They were the ones to kill the first man. They didn’t go for his daemon, no. They straight up dug their sharp wolverine fangs on his jugular, not minding for a bit the sickening contact and simply enjoying the metallic taste of blood on their mouth._

_“Shoot her!” They laughed when Clementine aimed her gun at the woman. “Shoot her!”_

_And Clementine shot her. It hit her right on the cheek, killing her instantly._

_AJ was in one of the lockers. Clementine struggled with the lock until she forced it open._

_And there he was, small and crying and scared, curled into a ball in the dark corner. Some of the woman’s blood had splashed on his face through the slits of the locker. His daemon had taken the form of a tiny field mouse, so small she fit perfectly in his closed hands._

_“AJ…” Clementine sighed. She reached her hand out to touch him, but he let out a strangled cry and curled away from her, hiding his face._

_It dawned to Clementine with a cold and empty feeling that he did not recognize her._

_He was scared of her._

_She chocked back the tears that were threatening to fall and with gentle hands, she stroked his back and grabbed his elbow with a feather light touch, turning him around and gathering him into her arms._

_When he saw the dead woman on the floor, he screamed. The sound scared Rosenthal and made them flinch. AJ sobbed uncontrollably into Clementine’s shoulder and he was shaking so hard she wondered if he was sick._

_The woman had been holding a small bottle with milk, which rolled down from her hand and knocked against Rosenthal’s paw._

_They had been taking care of AJ._

_For a moment, Clementine wondered if this was a mistake. If they could have taken care of him better than her._

_She carried him to the car outside and placed him on the passenger’s seat. Rosenthal jumped to the back seat._

_Somewhere outside, she could hear the stuttering sound of combat rifles and machine guns._

_It was dark. And, despite the fire, it was cold._

_She climbed into the driver’s seat and looked at AJ. He was still covered in blood from head to toe. She didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to see him covered in blood she had shed, so she grabbed a piece of cloth from her pocked and gently wiped his face clean._

_He never stopped looking at her. His eyes, small and dark, staring at her as if he could see somewhere deep in her soul, as if he understood what she’d done and was judging her for it._

_They were taking care of him._

_AJ’s face was clean, now, but as Clementine got hold of the steering wheel, she realized her own hands were dirty and bloody._

_“What have we done, Rose?” She asked her daemon._

_For a moment, she expected Rosenthal to justify themselves, to argue that they simply had to shoot the people, that AJ belonged to Clementine by right and these people were cruel child thieves who deserved to die._

_Instead, silence._

_“They were taking care of him” Rosenthal whispered, with a voice weak and soft that Clementine hadn’t heard since before they’d settled for the first time. “We were…” Rosenthal drifted off. “They were taking care of him, and we killed them”_

_Clementine didn’t know what to say. She just kept staring at AJ, who was dead silent, holding Becca in his hands._

_“He’s all I’ve got” She said. “He’s all we’ve got, Rose”_

_And she realized how utterly fucked up and selfish she was._

_Clementine didn’t say anything, and neither did her daemon._

_She slowly turned around to face them, and blinked in surprise when instead of a wolverine, she found a red Ethiopian Wolf staring back at her._

_Rosenthal just sighed._

_Clementine started up the engine,  and started her new life on the road._

…

Minerva killed Tenn.

She didn’t pull the trigger, but she came looking for him, once they’d escaped the boat, once they thought they were safe and sound.

On the bridge, she said it herself.

She was dying, and she wanted her little brother to go with her.

In the end, AJ was the one to shoot him.

Clementine thought for a moment Violet would kill him. During the last year, she had taken the role of some sort of surrogate sister for Tenn, and now he was gone.

It was something Clementine just couldn’t understand, no matter how much she and Rosenthal talked it through. It was a different language for her. She had once thought she could have understood Minerva, but she couldn’t and she would have never been able to. Minerva was a mystery to her. Her mind was written in a code different from hers, because otherwise she could at least find some sort of explanation—not even a justification, just a way to understand the way her through process worked— as for why would she ever kill her own family.

Her own sister. Her own fucking little brother.

AJ was everything for her. He was her reason to exist and the center of her life. A sibling was someone you sacrificed things _for_. They were someone to kill _for_. Killing a sibling must be against some law of nature, because the simple thought made her feel something similar to what she felt when she first saw dead people walking without daemons, or when that gross man grabbed Rosenthal with his bare hands, that day eight years before, which ultimately led to Lee’s death. Your loved ones were your first priority. They come before anything else. Not a nice place in the Army, not a Better Place, not some fabricated Loyalty to a New Family.

“We’ve killed people we love before, too” Rosenthal told her a few weeks later, as they sat beside her in the stairs that led to the main building of the school. “And I’m talking about Kenny, in case that wasn’t clear. Not Lee”

Clementine nodded. She was looking at AJ and Louis, in one of the picnic tables. They were reading one of the books on sign language they’d recently found on the library. Louis had been beyond excited at this discovery, and it was the first time they’d seen him act a bit like his old self. He was smiling and even playing cards again, even if communication was harder, as Saphira didn’t always say what he wanted to say.

“That was six years ago” She said.

Rosenthal nodded.

“Yes, it was” They said. “And it was two years ago that we got AJ back”

They’d both been thinking about it, of course. Clementine just couldn’t get it out her head.

“Do you still feel guilty?” Clementine asked them, stupidly.

“Of course I do” They said. “Just like you do”

They remained in silence for a moment. Aasim was on watch duty at the moment. He was with Ruby, who was supposed to be helping Omar with the food.

“It was different with Kenny” Clementine stated.

“Oh, was it? How?”

Clementine shrugged. She didn’t really want to talk about Kenny, but if Rosenthal was bringing it up, then it meant it was something important.

“Kenny was… He was hopeless. He said it himself. He asked us to do it”

“Had he known AJ was alive…”

“I know, I know. Can we please talk about something else?”

Rosenthal went silent. It was common for them to behave like this, to talk about painful things when they deemed necessary, even if Clementine didn’t want to.

“We promised to be better people after the Ranch, remember?”

Clementine nodded.

“I do”

“Do you think we’re doing it right?”

She looked down. Honestly? She thought so. She tried to.

“We weren’t like Minerva, were we?”

“Oh, no. You said it yourself. Well, _thought_ it yourself. Ourselves. Dammit”

“Then why were you…” She shook her head. She was better. She was a better person and she was raising AJ to be a better person and that was all that mattered.

“Because” Rosenthal began explaining “I was a wolverine, and Minerva’s daemon was a wolverine. It’s not rocket science”

“I’d rather be doing rocket science” Clementine muttered.

“And we shared a form, which must mean we were somewhat the same, in some aspect”

“Key word, ‘were’”

Don’t get her wrong, Clementine loved her daemon. They were her common sense, most times. Or they used to be. They could be sweet and comforting when she needed it. And maybe, they were being quite the opposite because she was in need of a slap of reality.

“We try to be better” Rosenthal said slowly. “Yet we keep letting our loved ones get hurt”

They were staring at AJ and Louis, too. They were practicing now. Clementine had spent several hours the last week practicing herself too, and she found herself understanding what they meant. Something about how cheesy Aasim and Ruby were.

“We could have paid more attention” They continued. “We could—we could have shot the horses! If we shot the horses, those Delta fuckers couldn’t have escaped. I’d like to see them dragging the cage themselves all the way to the boat”

Clementine closed her eyes. They had been thinking about that, too. Everything could have gone differently if she had only been smarter, or more attentive, if she could have protected him…

“I mean, between Louis’ tongue and Violet’s finger…”

“I don’t think a tongue and a finger are at the same level” Clementine interjected.

“…Don’t pretend it’s not our fault” They said. “Don’t pretend we couldn’t have stopped that from happening. And the worst part is, we kept putting them in danger. We made Violet send Centauri and she got her finger chopped off. You know how that feels” It was true. She did. “And even though nothing happened, we did let Louis send Saphira unlatch the door when that fucking wolverine could have bitten her head off at any fucking moment”

“Hey, we didn’t have a say on that!” She protested. That was unfair. “I can’t keep them from taking risks, right?”

“But we could have protected them better”

“This conversation is pointless”

“How is it pointless? We promised we’d be better people, right? What did we say? We said we wouldn’t let people get hurt again. We wouldn’t—oh, right! We wouldn’t let them be taken away from us, didn’t we?”

“You’re just guilt-tripping me now” She reached her hand out, looking for her crutches, as if she could simply walk away from her guilt. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore”

With some difficulty and with the help of her crutches, she managed to get back to her room, with Rosenthal following cue. Why was she even going to her room? It wasn’t like her daemon was going to leave her alone.

“Okay, so say we’re better people now” Rosenthal said. “We’re not like we were before. Not like Minerva. Good. Does that even mean anything?”

Clementine raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean” they hopped onto the bed. “We were a fucking disaster when AJ got taken. We were bad people. Don’t say we weren’t. And now, we try to be better, we try to keep our loved ones safe, and fail horribly, too”

“What’s your point?”

“Does it really make us good people, just because it’s in the past? I mean, we did kill Kenny in the past, and we also killed those people at the ranch in the past”

Clementine lay down, staring at the bed above her.

“I mean, you did change like three times these past years”

“I did” Rosenthal agreed. “So what? Again, does that mean anything?”

“You’re all over the place” Clementine suggests. “First, you say that letting Louis and Violet getting hurt makes us bad people, you compare me to Minnie, you talk about Kenny and then start to talk about the people at the ranch?” She shook her head. “It almost sounds like you’re looking for a reason to be a bad person”

Maybe that was just how guilt worked, Clementine wondered.

“What does it mean to be a bad person, even?”

“Jeez, Rose, I don’t know!” Clementine said. “I don’t know why it should matter anymore”

“Well, shooting innocent ranch people is not a very nice thing to do, if you ask me”

“Well, thank god I didn’t”

They remained in silence for several minutes. Truth be told, Rosenthal was right. They _did_ rush to kill Kenny, when everything could have gone different had they taken the time to find AJ before pulling the trigger. They _did_ kill the people at the ranch without need, to pursue her selfish search for a boy that was in better hands back there. And they _did_ put Violet and Louis in danger, over and over again.

Yeah, okay, maybe that made her a bad person. That didn’t mean she wanted her daemon to rub it on her face all day. Although maybe she deserved it. She deserved that and much worse.

There was a knock in the door. Clementine sat up to see Louis walking in.

_“Dinner is ready”_ He signed. He seemed pretty proud of himself for getting it right.

“Give me a sec” Clementine asked. She found her crutches and managed to get herself on her feet (well, _foot_ ). She looked at Rosenthal. “Please don’t be an ass”

“Can’t make any promises”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m not entirely happy with how this turned out, specially the Lilly monologue. I felt like I couldn’t just skip it, but paraphrasing it seemed even worse and lazier than writing it word by word, and it was ultimately pointless for the plot of this particular One-Shot. I kinda tried to skip and paraphrase some parts but I feel like I could have done it better. Eh. Most changes were done for theme reasons I guess. I have a lot of ideas for next installments and I’m not planning on re-writing a scene with daemons again, only original scenes :) I just wanted to establish the whole Wolverine idea. Ya know, ~symbolism~, and I needed Clem and Minnie together for that so.  
> Next chapter will probably be fluffy and probably angsty Viclouis (with Violet and Louis as friends, ffs). Or maybe I will abandon this forever. Who knows. Probably not.


End file.
